We ended up staying in Fano, a small, seaside port. It seems that Fano is a big spot with the Euro crowd (lots of German language pamphlets), but our American guidebook had very little information.

see what happens when you move two life-long coasters into the middle...
We ended up staying in Fano, a small, seaside port. It seems that Fano is a big spot with the Euro crowd (lots of German language pamphlets), but our American guidebook had very little information.








Our art work was pretty standard for a house occupied by five young 20-year olds: some beer posters, things we found on the subway or at yard sales, an Anna Kournikova poster.
One day, Basement Brian brought home Banana Man; he was working at a children’s theater at the time and someone there had given it to him. In the beginning, Banana Man was pretty simple, basically a banana with a face. The Banana Man hung on the wall for a couple years, overlooking the foosball table.
At some point, Rob decided to spice him up and added the hat, hair, bow-tie and tuxedo shirt.
Most importantly, he added those red lips.
After a couple years, the five of us started moving on. I went away for a couple months and subletted my room to Alfay. Then Basement Brian got married and moved out, making Alfay a permanent member of the house. Lew moved home and got married; he rented his room to his brother, Uncle Brian. Rob moved in with his girlfriend, I moved to Portland, Alfay moved out, and some other people moved in. Chad held down the fort for a few more years, being the one constant in the house from start to finish.
Once Basement Brian and Rob moved out and didn’t take Banana Man with them, sentiment turned against Banana Man and he was removed from the wall. When I moved out, I rescued Banana Man from the basement, carrying him across the country to the NorthWest.
Banana Man hung on my wall in Seattle for a year; then he hung in our bathroom in Portland for the last 2+ years, scaring countless small children, disconcerting Kimberly, intriguing others, but always providing a conversation starter.
We decided Banana Man wouldn’t come to the Middle with us; Kimberly isn’t a big fan of the Banana Man and we were running low on space. Last Friday, we had a going away party and gave Banana Man to a friend. She’ll be proudly displaying him in her office cube, until some future time when either I can reclaim him or he can be passed on to someone who appreciates a true piece of art.
Goodbye Banana Man. You’ll be missed.
Hey there everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve checked in, and boy, have I had some crazy adventures. I’m a little discombobulated these days (how’s that for a big-cat word) (it took me about 30 seconds to type it though, damn paws without opposable thumbs), but we’ll get to that in a second.
So the best place to start is probably a few weeks back. I had been helping Kimberly with her thesis. She may have had all the “ideas” and done all the “typing,” but I basically wrote the thing for her: you know what they say, behind every good woman, is a cat. I’d have to agree whole-heartedly.
Then one day, these two decided to take me for a car ride. I try to tell them over and over again that I don’t want to go in the car: I wail incessantly, I throw up on the rug, I wake them at 5 a.m. They really need to learn Cat-alonian if this whole relationship is going to work out.
Anyways, they think they’re so slick, trying to trick me into getting into the Box, but I know what they’re doing. If there wasn’t two of them, I wouldn’t have gotten in, but they over-powered me. It’s not so much the car that’s the problem, it’s that dam Box, it keeps closing in on me. Once we were in the car, I really turned on the wailing and gave Kimberly the Puss-in-Boots eyes; I really turned it on. She eventually relented, and I was free to burrow under the seats. Ah the safety of darkness.
I figured we were heading down to that nice old woman’s house; I think they called her Grandmama. She was nice, giving me treats and lots of petting, kind of like a spa treatment. But no, we ended up at some strange house where everything was a little suspicious. There was a weird scent in the air. Once I got in, it was obvious: new friends.
Ben and Jerry seemed like nice enough cats, but they were not happy to see me. Hiss, growl, hiss hiss hiss. That Ben, he needs to chill out. Jerry seemed cool, but Ben was all freaking, so I couldn’t really get to know him.
I figured the best way to avoid showing him who was boss and giving him a swipe to the head was to hide under the couch for a while; I wouldn’t want to embarrass someone in their own house. But we all know I could have. I was happy when Kimberly got me out from the couch and gave me some treats. I was really happy when we left that place and the ominous, terrible smells of Ben and Jerry.
Things were back to normal at home for a while, as I settled back into my cycle of eating, sleeping, and whining. But boxes kept showing up and things slowly started disappearing. Something was up.
My fears were confirmed when they drugged me. Yup, my so-called caretakers gave me tranquilizers, and as far as I can tell, it was all a cruel joke. I almost fell off the window, couldn’t eat, and was constipated for days. Don’t get me wrong, the semi-comatose sleep and melting walls were pretty cool, but the hangover was killer. I still have no idea why they would do that to me. Maybe not enough wailing and whining?
When I finally recovered from my haze, half the house was missing and the boxes had grown and covered half the house. Now something was definitely up.
I tried laying low for a while until I could figure things out. I even cut back on the whining and increased the sleeping and eating. Then out of nowhere, we were back in the car again. They had grabbed my lead and harness, so I figured we were going outside for a nice afternoon of chewing on grass and vomiting on the bed. But they tricked me, again. I’m really gonna get them.
We ended up back at Ben and Jerry’s house – I could tell as soon as I smelled them. When I got inside, though, they were no where to be found. That was cool. I wandered around, checked out the scene, scratched the post for a while. This place wasn’t so bad; lots of space, lots of windows to look out, lots of dark hiding places.
Then out of nowhere was Jerry, all by himself. Cool. Hey buddy. He gave me the old submissive move, rolling onto his back and showing me his belly, sniffing my butt. Like I said, this Jerry is pretty cool. We’ve been getting along pretty well, sleeping and eating like old buddies.
But Ben, he’s one uptight cat. Hiss hiss hiss. Growl growl growl. All day long. I try to walk down the hall and get a little shut-eye – hiss. I need to use the litter box – growl. I understand it’s your place, I’m cool with that. It’s not like I want to live here. I just want to be friends, ok.
I’ve actually been over here for a few days now, claiming my spaces, checking out the lay of the land. Kimberly and Peter were here the past couple nights; I guess we’re all moving to this place. That’s cool. They just left a little while ago, carrying some bags. It looks like they’re still moving some things around.
I can’t wait until they get home from work and we can snuggle. Just like old times.


My eyes, they're kind of messed up. I wear hard pieces of plastic in my eyes, known as scleral lenses; after reading that first wiki entry, this apparently means I have "advanced or very irregular keratoconus." I thought I had a mild case. Crap.
My job is pretty evenly split between being a desk jockey and windshield time. Lately, I've been spending most of my time in front of the computer, but it's a rare week that I don't get out for at least a little bit. Most of my driving is around the City, checking out rooftops, visiting jurisdictions, or going to client meetings.
No, Kimberly is not typing her paper in the arctic; she is just temperature sensitive.
Growing up in New England, I never had allergies. There's not much growing in the Greater Boston Area, especially in the suburban ring where I grew up. In fact, I knew of only one person who had allergies over there, my aunt. Once she convinced me to put my finger in the car cigarette lighter when it was red hot, so I never knew if I should believe her anyways.



PEter, Kimberly, Froglette, and Cole are residing in the Middle - if you go to the map of the US, find the dead center, move a little east and a little north, and you've found them. They were expecting corn, but they're still shocked at how much there is.