An Open Letter to the City of Phoenix

To the City of Phoenix and all Phoenicians:

Hi there, Phoenix. I have always heard the you are a wonderful, up and coming new American City. The weather is supposed to be great, especially in the winter (when the high only gets to the 80's). People are moving to you in droves, escaping the cold of the Midwest and rain of the northwest.

However, I have to point out a few things that make you really difficult to like.

First of all, your airport is terrible. Considering that you are a hub for Southwest Airlines, as well as a major tourist and snowbird destination, you would think you would have a nice, clean airport. While a new, modern airport would be nice, how about just fixing up your precious Sky Harbor? How about some windows in the terminals? How about some color on the walls, or public art work? And don't even get me started on the passenger pick-up/drop-off areas, where I watched as person after person came perilously close to getting side-swiped by passing motorists.

While many will argue that renovating an airport while it is still functioning is a pain in the a-- and causes many headaches, it is possible. Just do it one terminal at a time. I would think that Southwest alone would be clamoring for a nice airport, and maybe they are, but I have to say, Sky Harbor is a dump.

Now, about your drivers: if anyone ever tells me that drivers in Boston are the worst in the country, I will laugh very sarcastically in their face (like this: HA HA HA HA HA), then make them drive in Phoenix (or from Ames to Des Moines for that matter, but that's a whole different post). Here's a tip for all Phoenicians: it's very difficult, and probably dangerous, to text message on your phone, while driving with your knees and going very fast. I should interject here that the highways in Phoenix are of wonderful quality, newly paved and spacious. However, when you have a wall of people 4 across going 60 because they can't figure out what LQTM means, it doesn't matter how well kept the highways are.

Additionally, in order to have a functioning highway, you need to have some of the on-ramps open so that people can actually get on the highway and drive on it. At 430 in the morning, when you get off the highway to buy gas for your rental car so you don't get dragged over the coals by the rental company, you should be able to get back on the highway relatively soon. Like, maybe, at the exact same place you got off. Having to drive 10 miles on surface streets, following poorly placed detour signs, to get on the highway because all the on-ramps are closed, is unacceptable. If it had been a busy time of day, I have no doubt we would have missed our flight.

Finally, I need to comment on the abundance of strip malls and sprawl. I understand you have almost endless flat land down there. But let me clue you in on something: just because you can, doesn't mean you should keep pouring concrete over the desert and building another Target or Home Depot. I understand that the weather for most of the year makes it difficult, if not impossible, to walk anywhere. But how about not having everything be miles apart? How about trying to create some pedestrian friendly areas? Density can be a good thing, especially in a place that has no natural water source and has so much concrete that it is disturbing the surrounding weather patterns. Urban planning and zoning, while having many flaws, is probably a concept that you will want to further explore, and possibly even implement.

Having said all that, I would like to complement your City on its wonderful Desert Botanical Gardens. While we only spent a little time there, it is obvious you take great pride in this place. I can imagine few places that would be a better setting for a sunset.

Thanks for letting us visit, Phoenix. We may come back someday, but probably not to visit you. Maybe as a gateway to your surrounding desert. Or to visit friends and go to weddings. But we almost definitely will not be coming in the summer. 120 degrees is not really my cup of tea. Even if it is a dry heat.

XOXO
PEter